So Coinbase laid off a bunch of people last week, and the CEO sent out this letter, and by letter, I mean tweet, a really beautifully written tweet, explaining that the layoffs were not because of mismanagement. No, no, no, no, no. Brian Armstrong was a victim. We’re all victims. The AI was just too damn productive.
上周 Coinbase 裁掉了一大批员工，CEO 发出了一封信——确切地说是一条推文，写得极其「漂亮」。他解释说，裁员并不是因为管理不善。不，不，不。Coinbase 老板也是受害者，我们都是受害者。怪只怪 AI 的生产力实在太 TM 高了。And I mean, he tried. He got on his knees and he begged the GPUs to slow down. It’s like, please think about the families, but it was no use. The productivity gains were already realized. Now, this isn’t an economics video. This is a survival video. The question is, what do you do to survive? You become the problem.
我是说，他尽力了。他甚至跪下来哀求 GPU 慢一点。他就差没说，「请为那些家庭考虑一下吧！」但没用，生产力的飞跃已经实现了。听着，这不是一段经济学视频，这是一段生存视频。问题是：为了活下去，你该怎么办？答案是：让自己成为那个「问题」。You are going to become the most insufferable, the most LinkedIn sounding motherfucker, the most aggressively pro-AI person in your entire company, starting tomorrow. I’m serious. I want you to go to ChatGPT, and I want you to ask it for a list of 100 AI buzzwords. And I want you to print them out and tape them to your bathroom mirror. And every morning, while you brush your teeth, I want you to practice them.
从明天开始，你要变成全公司最令人难以忍受、说话最有「领英范儿」、最激进拥护 AI 的混蛋。我是认真的。我要你去问 ChatGPT 要 100 个 AI 热词。把它们打印出来，贴在你浴室的镜子上。每天早上刷牙的时候，给我对着练。Ralph Loop. Ralph loop, stochastic, agentic, orchestration, multi-agent, neocloud. By the time you walk out of the door, you should have a low-grade fever. You should be slightly nauseous. This is good. This is a positive symptom.
拉夫循环（Ralph Loop）。拉夫循环、随机性、代理性、编排、多智能体、新云服务。当你走出家门时，你应该已经烧到了低烧。你应该感到轻微的恶心。这很好，这是积极的症状。Then at 9 a.m. sharp, you’re going to send an email to your entire organization. Include members of the board as well. The email subject is going to be “Some thoughts on where we’re headed.” The body of the email will be: “Hey team, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and I think it’s time we became an AI-first company. I have some experience in this space, and I’m happy to be the Sherpa on this journey. Reach out if you’d like to set up some time.”
然后，在上午 9 点整，给全公司发一封邮件。记得把董事会成员也抄送上。邮件主题写成：「关于公司未来走向的一些思考」。正文这么写：「嘿，团队，我一直在深思这件事，我认为现在是我们转型为『AI 优先』公司的时候了。我在这个领域有一些经验，很乐意成为这段旅程的向导（Sherpa）。如果你想找时间聊聊，随时联系我。」
Okay? Send it, just send it. And at this point, if you can make this email leak, this will put you in the major leagues. Well, that’s a strategy for another video. Now, you’re going to host weekly workshops. Okay? You’ll call them “AI Office Hours.” Every Friday at 3 p.m. in Conference Room B. You’re gonna print flyers that say, “Got AI questions? I’ve got AI answers.”
明白了吗？发出去，直接发。这个环节，如果你能让这封邮件「不小心」泄露出去，你就能进入顶级玩家的行列。不过那是另一个视频的话题了。接下来，你要举办每周工作坊。明白吗？把它们叫做「AI 办公时间」。每周五下午 3 点，B 会议室。去印传单，上面写着：「有 AI 问题吗？我有 AI 答案。」
Nobody else in the company will be doing this, and certainly no one else will have flyers. But here’s the trick. The workshops are not for them. They’re for you. They are reconnaissance. You are going to find out in real time exactly how little anybody at this company actually understands AI, and you’re going to exploit this gap to figure out exactly what content to serve your audience—your audience being the AI simpletons on your team.
公司里没别人会这么干，更没人会去印传单。但这里的诀窍是：这些工作坊不是为他们准备的，而是为你准备的。这是侦察行动。你要实时摸清楚公司里的人对 AI 的了解到底有多匮乏，然后利用这个信息差，确定该给你的观众提供什么内容——你的观众就是你团队里那些对 AI 一窍不通的傻瓜。Now, if your CEO has never heard the phrase “Ralph Loop”—oh, man. You are less than 30 days away from your next promotion. I’m not even exaggerating. Walk into his office, close the door, and say, “Hey chief, been experimenting with something. It’s called Ralph Loops, and I think it could change literally everything.” And he’s going to say, “What’s a Ralph loop?” And you will say, “Give me $18,000 worth of API credits and I’ll show you.”
如果你的 CEO 从没听过「拉夫循环」这个词——我靠，那你离下一次晋升不到 30 天了。我一点都没夸张。走进他的办公室，关上门，说：「嘿，头儿，我一直在实验一个叫『拉夫循环』的东西，我觉得它能改变一切。」他会问：「什么是拉夫循环？」然后你会说：「给我价值一万八千美元的 API 额度，我展示给你看。」
Now, you won’t actually do anything, because you can’t do anything, because nobody knows what they’re doing. But by the time he figures that out, you’ll have a new title, an equity bump. What you want to be doing is automating. Talk about automation constantly. Nothing arouses the slumbering capitalist than the mention of automation.
其实你什么都不会做，因为你也做不了什么，反正大家也都不懂。但等到他发现这一点时，你已经拿到了新头衔和更多的股权。你要做的是不断谈论「自动化」。没有什么比提到「自动化」更能让沉睡的资本家感到兴奋了。Drop names too, bro. Talk about specific team members you can automate out of existence. Be like, ”Yo, I automated Gary, bro.” Tag Gary in the message, tag him in Slack in a very public channel. Be like, ”Yo, I just automated @Gary. His function has been Ralph-looped,” and tag your CEO in the same message. You think you’re getting laid off after that, bro? Like, are you out of your mind?
还要指名道姓。谈论那些你可以炼化的具体团队成员。比如：「哟，我把加里给炼化了，兄弟。」在 Slack 的公开频道里艾特加里，说：「哟，我刚把 @Gary 炼化了。他的职能已经被『拉夫环』替代了。」顺便在同一条消息里艾特你的 CEO。你觉得这样之后你还会被裁员吗？兄弟，你疯了吗？
This is how you survive the storm. It does not matter who is right and it does not matter who is wrong. A storm is not either right nor wrong. Like, dude, if you’re an AI contrarian at your company right now, what are you doing? Resign, dude. Resign voluntarily, man. This is highly disgraceful.
这就是你度过风暴的方式。谁对谁错并不重要，风暴本身没有对错。老兄，如果你现在还在公司里唱衰 AI，你在干什么？辞职吧。自己主动辞职吧，这太丢人了。The only place you should be talking about AI realism is here with me or with your dog. Do not let anyone, not even your own wife, hear you be negative or balanced about AI. Are you kidding me, dude? There’s only one way to make money off being an AI realist, and I’ve already cornered the market. And I’m barely getting by, man.
你唯一可以讨论「AI 现实主义」的地方就是我这里，或者对着你的狗说。不要让任何人，甚至包括你妻子，听到你对 AI 持负面或中立的态度。开什么玩笑？当一个「AI 现实主义者」只有一种赚钱的方法，而那个市场已经被我垄断了，即便如此我也只是勉强糊口。The most important thing, the absolute most important thing is that you are no longer going to do any work. Okay? You’re not going to write any code. You’re not even going to type. You’re going to dictate. You’re gonna use a voice tool. You’re going to speak to Claude. You’re going to speak to your team on Slack. You’re going to speak in meetings and workshops, and at no point are your fingers ever going to touch a keyboard.
最重要的事情，绝对最重要的一点是：你不再做任何实际工作了。明白吗？你不再写代码，甚至不再打字。你要用口述。用语音工具，对着 Claude 说话，在 Slack 上对着团队说话。在会议和工作坊里说话。你的手指绝不能再碰到键盘。Because we have transcended labor, my friend. We have ascended. Engineering is no longer a craft. Engineering is a metaphysical practice now. We do not write code. We commune with code. We cleanse the repo of bad energy. We are philosophers of the codebase.
因为我们已经超越了劳动，朋友。我们升华了。工程不再是一门手艺，工程现在是一场形而上的修行。我们不写代码，我们与代码对话。我们清除仓库里的负能量。我们是代码库的哲学家。And at this point, if you have a black turtleneck, put it on, okay? If you don’t, get one. Get two. Have a backup turtleneck. Steve Jobs did not have a backup. That was his mistake.
这时候，如果你有一件黑色圆领衫，穿上它。如果没有，去买一件。买两件，备一件。乔布斯当年就是没有备用的，那是他的失误。Now, I want to address the people in the comments who are about to type, “Hey man, this is super messed up. This is cynical and it’s bad advice. I would never do this.”
现在，我要对那些准备在评论区留言说「嘿，哥们，这太变态了，太愤世嫉俗了，这是坏建议，我绝不会这么做」的人说几句。
And I want you to listen to me, okay? This little Gandhi stance you’re taking will not pay off. The CEO of your company is currently taking the Coinbase memo, and he’s asking ChatGPT 5.2 to draft one for his own company. He needs the views, man. He needs an invitation to the All-In Summit, okay? He needs Chamath to mention him on the pod.
听我说。你这种苦行僧的立场是不会有回报的。你公司的 CEO 现在正拿着 Coinbase 的裁员备忘录，让 ChatGPT 5.2 给自家公司也起草一份。他需要流量，老兄。他需要「All-In 峰会」的邀请函。他需要大 V 在播客里提到他。He’s in his office studying Brian’s tweet. He is whispering, “We have made the difficult decision. We have made the difficult decision,” out loud just to feel it in his mouth. And you taking a stance against AI will not change his mind. It will not change the trajectory of AI. It will not make a fart’s worth of difference.
他正躲在办公室里钻研 Coinbase 老板的推文。他正低声念叨着：「我们做出了一个艰难的决定……我们做出了一个艰难的决定。」反复出声地念，只为了寻找那种感觉。而你反对 AI 的立场不会改变他的想法，不会改变 AI 的轨迹，连个屁的影响都不会有。You want to take a stance? Go be vegan, man. Go open an account on Threads. But at work, in this climate, being a realist will get you canned, bro. You have one obligation, and that is to make sure there is a roof on top of your family’s heads and food on the table. Stop being such a dick, dude, and provide for your family.
你想表达立场？去当素食主义者吧，去 Threads 开个账号吧。但在职场，在这种气候下，当现实主义者会让你被开除。你只有一个义务，那就是确保你家人头上有瓦遮雨，桌上有粮果腹。别再犯轴了，去养家糊口吧。And whenever it gets to be too much, come back here, okay? Because between you and me, you and I know what’s actually true. And it’s that AI is a calculator. It’s not the singularity. It’s a damn tool. Reasonable people know this.
什么时候觉得受不了了，就回我这儿来。因为你我心知肚明，什么是真正的真相：AI 就是个计算器，不是什么奇点，它只是个工具。理智的人都知道这一点。And now you know why everyone around you is pretending that AI is the second coming of consciousness. It’s because they’re getting promoted. They’re keeping their jobs, and you’re not. Put on your turtleneck. And I’ll see you on the other side.
现在你也明白为什么你周围的所有人都在假装 AI 是意识的第二次降临了。因为他们在升职加薪，他们在保住工作，而你没有。穿上你的圆领衫，我们彼岸再见。